Therapy for Neurodivergent Women in Portland & Washington State
Finding Your Authentic Self Beyond the Mask
If you're reading this, you might be one of the many women who've recently discovered they're autistic or ADHD—perhaps in your 30s, 40s, or 50s. Maybe your child's diagnosis opened your eyes to your own neurotype. Maybe perimenopause has made masking impossible to maintain. Or maybe you've always known you were different but only recently found the language to describe it.
I understand because I've walked this path myself. As a neurodivergent woman and mother with a doctorate in psychology, I know what it's like to excel professionally while quietly drowning in the effort it takes to appear "normal." I know the exhaustion that comes from a lifetime of people-pleasing and perfectionism. And I know the profound relief—and confusion—that comes with finally understanding your brain.
Beyond Crisis: Integration and Identity Development
My practice focuses on a specific moment in the neurodivergent journey: the "now what?" phase. You've moved past the initial discovery or diagnosis. You're not in crisis. You might already be in therapy or have done significant therapeutic work. What you're seeking now is deeper—it's about integration, identity development, and figuring out who you are when you stop performing neurotypicality.
This work is particularly relevant for women and AFAB individuals who've spent decades masking their autism or ADHD. You've likely been praised for being accommodating, detail-oriented, and high-achieving. These traits may have served you well in demanding professional fields, but they've come at a tremendous cost to your energy and authenticity.
The Unique Intersection of Late Diagnosis and Life Transitions
I've noticed two distinct groups of women seeking my support. The first are mothers whose children have recently been diagnosed as autistic, leading them to recognize patterns in their own experiences. Suddenly, your sensory sensitivities, social exhaustion, and need for routine make sense through a new lens.
The second group consists of perimenopausal women experiencing intensified executive dysfunction and identity questions. Hormonal changes can make masking strategies that worked for decades suddenly ineffective. You might find yourself unable to maintain the façade that once felt automatic, forcing a reckoning with your authentic neurodivergent self.
Both groups share common threads: professional success coupled with private struggle, relationships strained by unrecognized neurodivergent needs, and a deep desire to understand themselves beyond the masks they've worn.
My Therapeutic Approach for Neurodivergent Women
My practice combines evidence-based treatments with a deep understanding of neurodivergent experiences. I specialize in several therapeutic modalities that I've found particularly effective for the women I work with:
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) helps address the anxiety and OCD symptoms that often accompany autism and ADHD. Many neurodivergent women develop rigid patterns or compulsions as coping mechanisms, and ERP provides tools to navigate these challenges while honoring your need for structure.
Inference-based CBT (I-CBT) offers a unique approach to OCD that resonates with many autistic individuals. Rather than focusing solely on feared consequences, I-CBT examines the reasoning processes behind obsessive doubts—particularly relevant for those of us who think differently.
Cognitive Processing Therapy and Prolonged Exposure Therapy address the trauma that often accumulates from years of masking, misunderstanding, and trying to fit into neurotypical expectations. Many late-diagnosed women carry complex trauma from decades of feeling fundamentally wrong or broken.
Understanding Your Whole Self: A Holistic Perspective
During our initial consultation and intake process, I take a comprehensive biopsychosocial approach to understanding your unique situation. This means looking at biological factors (including your neurotype and any co-occurring conditions), psychological patterns (including masking strategies and their impact), and social context (including relationships, work, and cultural factors).
I'm particularly attuned to the experiences of LGBTQ+ individuals within the neurodivergent community. Many of my clients identify as queer or trans, navigating multiple intersecting identities. The overlap between neurodivergence and diverse gender and sexual identities isn't coincidental—both involve existing outside societal norms and expectations.
What Working Together Looks Like
My approach begins with a free 15-minute consultation where we can briefly connect and determine if we're a good fit. If we decide to move forward, the intake session provides space to review your history and establish therapeutic goals that honor where you are in your journey.
I work exclusively online, which many of my clients find more comfortable and sustainable than in-person sessions. You can be in your own space, with your own sensory accommodations, without the added stress of commuting or navigating new environments.
Sessions focus on practical integration of your neurodivergent identity into daily life. This might include:
Developing sustainable alternatives to masking that allow for both authenticity and necessary social navigation
Understanding and working with executive dysfunction rather than against it
Processing grief about late diagnosis and reimagining your life story through a neurodivergent lens
Building self-advocacy skills for work and relationships
Creating routines and structures that support your neurotype rather than suppress it
Addressing internalized ableism and developing genuine self-compassion
The Reality of Neurodivergent Women's Experiences
Your experiences are real and valid. The exhaustion from maintaining conversations while processing every social cue. The sensory overwhelm from fluorescent lights or background noise that others don't seem to notice. The frustration of being labeled "too sensitive" or "overthinking" when you're simply experiencing the world through a different neurological lens.
Many women I work with describe feeling like they're constantly translating between their internal experience and external expectations. You might excel at your job while secretly spending hours recovering from the performance. You might maintain friendships through careful scripting and scheduling, always aware of the effort invisible to others.
Parenting as a neurodivergent woman presents unique challenges, especially when your children are also neurodivergent. You're managing your own sensory and executive function needs while supporting theirs, often with little understanding from schools or extended family.
Moving Forward: Integration Over Transformation
My goal isn't to "fix" you or help you become better at masking. Instead, I support you in integrating your understanding of your neurotype into a life that feels authentic and sustainable. This means honoring both your strengths—your attention to detail, pattern recognition, deep interests, and unique perspective—and your support needs.
For many women, this integration process involves grieving the life you thought you should have while discovering the life that actually fits. It means releasing shame about needs that are perfectly reasonable for your neurotype. It means finding your people—those who appreciate your authentic self rather than your performance.
Expertise Grounded in Experience and Education
With my doctorate in psychology and specialized training in evidence-based treatments, I bring both professional expertise and personal understanding to our work. I stay current with neurodivergent research and maintain active involvement in the neurodivergent professional community. My approach is informed by both clinical best practices and lived experience.
I also provide clinical supervision for emerging therapists and business development consultations, sharing knowledge to expand quality neurodivergent-affirming care. This broader professional engagement keeps my practice informed by diverse perspectives and current developments in the field.
Taking the Next Step
If you're ready to explore what life might look like beyond the mask—to understand your neurotype not as a limitation but as a fundamental part of who you are—I invite you to reach out. Whether you're navigating a recent realization about your neurotype, struggling with midlife transitions that have disrupted long-standing coping mechanisms, or simply ready to stop pretending to be someone you're not, there's space for you here.
The journey from masking to authenticity isn't always easy, but it doesn't have to be walked alone. Together, we can explore what it means to be a neurodivergent woman in a world that wasn't designed for us, and more importantly, how to build a life that honors your true self.
Contact me for a free 15-minute consultation to discuss your needs and learn more about scheduling and investment details. Your neurodivergent identity isn't something to overcome—it's something to understand, integrate, and ultimately, embrace.