Online Therapy for Neurodivergent Women in Washington State
Finding Your Authentic Self Through Evidence-Based Online Therapy
If you're a late-diagnosed or self-identified autistic woman in Washington State searching for therapy that truly understands your experience, you've likely already traveled a long road. Perhaps you've spent decades perfecting the art of masking, earning praise for being accommodating and high-achieving while quietly burning out behind the scenes. Maybe you're in your 30s, 40s, or 50s, finally understanding why certain things have always felt harder for you than they seemed to be for others.
I'm Dr. Erica Aaten, and I provide specialized online therapy throughout Washington State for neurodivergent women and AFAB individuals who are ready to move beyond diagnosis toward authentic self-integration. My practice focuses on helping you navigate the complex journey of understanding your neurotype while building a life that honors your true self rather than exhausting it.
Beyond the "Now What?" Moment
Many of my Washington State clients come to me after experiencing what I call the "autism revelation moment." You've connected the dots—whether through formal diagnosis, self-identification, or perhaps after your child received an autism diagnosis that suddenly made your own experiences make sense. The acute crisis of not knowing has passed, but now you're facing an equally important question: How do I integrate this understanding into my life?
This integration work is particularly complex for those of us who've spent decades masking. You've likely built successful careers in demanding fields where your attention to detail and pattern recognition serve you well. You might be balancing family responsibilities with professional obligations while trying to understand and honor your neurodivergent needs for the first time. The perfectionism that once helped you survive now might feel like a prison you're ready to escape.
The Unique Journey of Late-Diagnosed Autistic Women in Washington
Living in Washington State, you have access to progressive healthcare and a generally neurodiversity-affirming culture, yet finding therapy that truly understands the intersection of autism, gender, and late diagnosis remains challenging. I specialize in working with women who are navigating two particularly transformative life phases:
First, there are mothers who've recently watched their children receive autism diagnoses, suddenly seeing their own childhood and current struggles reflected back at them. The realization that you're not just a "quirky" or "sensitive" parent but actually autistic yourself can be both validating and overwhelming. You're simultaneously processing your own identity shift while supporting your neurodivergent child—all while managing the sensory and executive function demands of parenting.
Second, I work with perimenopausal women experiencing the perfect storm of hormonal changes and newly understood neurodivergence. If you're in this group, you might be noticing that the coping strategies that worked for decades are suddenly failing. Executive dysfunction might be intensifying, and you're questioning everything about how you want to spend the second half of your life. This isn't just a midlife crisis—it's a neurodivergent midlife reckoning that deserves specialized support.
Evidence-Based Approaches for Real Neurodivergent Challenges
My therapeutic approach combines rigorous clinical training with lived understanding. As a neurodivergent mother myself, I don't just study these experiences—I navigate them daily. This dual perspective informs how I adapt evidence-based treatments to work with, rather than against, the autistic brain.
I utilize several specialized therapeutic modalities that I've found particularly effective for the intersection of neurodivergence, trauma, and anxiety that many of my clients experience. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) can be powerfully adapted for autistic individuals dealing with OCD. Inference-based CBT (I-CBT) offers a unique approach that resonates with the pattern-seeking autistic mind, helping distinguish between productive analysis and anxiety-driven rumination.
For those carrying trauma—and let's be honest, growing up autistic in a neurotypical world is often inherently traumatic—I offer both Cognitive Processing Therapy and Prolonged Exposure Therapy. These aren't applied in a one-size-fits-all manner but are carefully adapted to respect sensory sensitivities, processing differences, and the unique ways trauma manifests in neurodivergent nervous systems.
Creating Space for Your Whole Self
My online therapy practice serves clients throughout Washington State, from Seattle's tech corridors to Spokane's quieter neighborhoods, from the artistic communities of Bellingham to the suburban landscapes of Vancouver. The beauty of online therapy is that it allows you to engage in this deeply personal work from an environment where you feel safe and regulated—your own space, with your own sensory accommodations, without the added stress of commuting or navigating new physical environments.
This is particularly important for autistic individuals who might find traditional therapy settings overwhelming. You can keep your camera off if that helps you focus better. You can stim freely without worrying about judgment. You can have your comfort items nearby and take breaks as needed. My role is to create a therapeutic container that works for your neurodivergent brain, not to force you into neurotypical therapy conventions.
Navigating Identity, Relationships, and Authenticity
Much of our work together will focus on untangling which aspects of your life reflect your authentic self versus those constructed through decades of masking. This might mean examining your relationships—understanding which connections drain you versus those that energize you, and learning to set boundaries that protect your energy without guilt. It might involve exploring your relationship with work, questioning whether your career path reflects your genuine interests or simply what you thought you "should" do.
For parents, we'll explore how to model authentic neurodivergent living for your children while managing the very real demands of family life. For those navigating perimenopause, we'll address how hormonal changes interact with autism and ADHD, developing strategies that honor both your changing body and your neurodivergent brain.
The Intersection of Neurodivergence and LGBTQ+ Identity
Many of my clients identify as queer, trans, or otherwise part of the LGBTQ+ community. The overlap between neurodivergence and diverse gender and sexual identities isn't coincidental—when you've already stepped outside neurotypical norms, you might be more likely to question other societal expectations around gender and sexuality. My practice provides affirming space to explore all aspects of your identity without having to educate your therapist about either neurodivergence or LGBTQ+ experiences.
Beginning Your Therapeutic Journey
Starting therapy with me begins with a free 15-minute consultation. This isn't a sales pitch—it's an opportunity for you to get a sense of whether my approach resonates with you. We'll briefly discuss what you're looking for and I'll share how I might be able to support you. If we both feel it's a good fit, we'll schedule an intake session.
The intake process involves a comprehensive review of your history through a holistic biopsychosocial lens. We'll explore not just your current challenges but the full context of your life—your sensory experiences, your relationship patterns, your work history, your family dynamics. Together, we'll establish goals that reflect what you actually want from therapy, not what you think you should want.
Once we begin regular sessions, I prefer to establish recurring appointments when possible. This predictability can be especially helpful for autistic clients who thrive with routine. If schedule changes are needed, we can handle them via email to reduce the anxiety of phone calls.
Your Therapy, Your Way
Working with me means working with someone who gets it—not just intellectually but experientially. I understand the exhaustion of high achievement, the complexity of neurodivergent parenting, and the challenge of unmasking after decades of performance. My approach balances professional expertise with genuine understanding, using humor when appropriate while respecting the profound nature of this identity work.
Whether you're in Seattle's bustling downtown or finding peace in Washington's rural communities, online therapy removes geographic barriers to accessing specialized neurodivergent-affirming care. You deserve support from someone who understands that your autism isn't something to be fixed or hidden but rather understood and integrated into a life that actually works for your brain.
Taking the Next Step
If you're ready to move beyond survival mode into authentic living, if you're tired of therapy that doesn't quite get the neurodivergent experience, if you want to work with someone who combines clinical expertise with lived understanding—I invite you to reach out. Contact me to schedule your free consultation and learn more about availability and scheduling. Together, we can begin the work of honoring who you've always been while building a future that doesn't require you to exhaust yourself through constant masking.
Your neurodivergent brain isn't broken. The strategies that got you this far aren't failures—they were survival tools that served their purpose. Now it's time to move beyond survival into authentic thriving. I'm here to support that journey with evidence-based approaches adapted for the beautifully complex neurodivergent mind.